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Tired as a Mother

Parenting is hard. Momming is really, really hard.

I am currently elbows deep in the season of toddlerhood. Beautiful and chaotic. Wonderful and exhausting. My days (and nights) are filled with tear stained cheeks, scraped knees, deep bear hugs and wet, sloppy, kisses.

My children are 14 months apart, currently ages 2 and 3. They are so very different, but also so much alike. They are stubborn and resilient but also kind and sweet. They are the best of my husband and I. They have an abundance of energy that I wish I could bottle up and sell on the black market for a small fortune.

I am their person. I am the one they want when they are upset. It is me they call for in the middle of the night when they can't sleep. It is my side of the bed they crawl into in the wee hours of the morning. It is my name they shout out (literally - they call me Tanya sometimes) when they learn something new or want to show off a cool trick.

I love this season of motherhood, I truly do - and I hope that I am always their person. I hope I am forever their safe place, their biggest fan, their constant source of unconditional love and acceptance.

But I am tired, exhausted even.

Those of you in the trenches with me know what kind of tired I'm talking about. It's not a purely physical fatigue, but one that envelopes your entire being. It's an emotional drain that even a full nights sleep (what is that?) doesn't reconcile.

It hurts my heart to even admit, the one who gives parenting advice and educates on development. Sharing this revelation catalyzes the evil demon known as "mom guilt" to rear its ugly head and then there, in the backgound - another little voice is shouting "imposter!".

But, GIRL, I am TIRED, too.

I took a step back recently and attempted to identify the source of fatigue - besides the obvious lack of sleep. I looked at my calendar and I figured it out. It's the tiny things...the trivial, day to day details. The minutiae of life. It's remembering appointments, class parties, theme days, RSVPing to birthdays etc.

These seem like little, itty bitty things, but tiny things tend to add up. When you are solely responsible for remembering all of the day to day details for an entire family, your brain may be on overdrive 24/7. If you are a working mom on top of all this - well, I empathize and I'm exhausted for you. And I'm right there with you.

Most (ALL) moms I know are tired, but instead of acquiescing to the fatigue, instead of admitting that they are humans with limitations, they "mom" harder. They succumb to the Pinterest level societal expectations of what a 2019 mom should look like.

I am giving you permission (as someone with absolutely no authority) to come to a full stop.

I am challenging you to do something that benefits nobody else except you. I want you to ask for help. I want you to sleep in. I want you to get a massage, or a manicure, or sit on a beach reading a book - whatever it is that calms your soul and feeds your spirit. I want you to take a night away (yes, a whole night...make it an entire weekend!). I want you to reconnect with a friend you have lost touch with.

I want you to look in the mirror and reflect on the amazing being that you are. I want you to recall the person you were before someone called you "mommy". Do you remember her?

Would she recognize you?

This all sounds so very selfish and very un-mom-like. But, honestly, if you were refreshed and rejuvenated, wouldn't you be an even more amazing mom?

Are you going to accept my challenge?

One stipulation - no mom guilt allowed.


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